Some Humor for Your Day–Helping People Count the Money

I had a colleague back in Beijing. She is a good person. I think so. She is not the kind that stabs you in your back, or go directly bully you when she feels she just can do it. You know you can know a person really really well from very very small matters.

Small matters are not small. It shows a person’s character, and character does not change that easily.

You do the right thing even when nobody is seeing.

Some pretend to do the right thing only for show. Some never do the right thing.

I am still fighting the case of my identity theft.

One thing about my colleague that has surprised me is she is the one to lock her eyes on her husband-to-be. I believe they were both in college. So she launched her campaign and got her husband. She is not that kind of person that one usually associates with “being modern.” You know those kind of women who smoke, drink with men, whether they know the man or not, or go freely practice sexual freedom, and go dancing every time they can find a man to take them. That colleague of mine is in fact very traditional.

She is also the one who waits for her husband, very late into the night if he happens to have social occasions.

We were considered professionals back in Beijing. She has her Master’s degree. Her husband has a MBA, if I remember correctly.

I remember I was quite surprised when I heard this. I really admire her.

Over the years, I have also done things that I would not have thought I would do, such as writing proposals trying to persuade somebody to take a certain course of action. I have written quite a few proposals, that is for sure, such as research proposals, most of the times. But never a marriage proposal.


Right now my physical body is not in China. I am still on American soil fighting for my stolen identity.

If you suffer from a stolen identity, you would know it is absolutely a nightmare to be in, a nightmare that can last years and years. And for some, it can last for 20 years. So it has been a hard battle.

But today I want to add some humor, to the casual reader, if they chance onto this piece. After this, I have got serious business to attend to.

Has anyone heard of this phrase? The Chinese usually use it to laugh at a person who is too easily taken in. They would say to a person: You are so naive. If someone sold you, you would help them count the money.

I have done almost exactly that–helping people count the money.

The following is the list that I have listed on how much I am worth if I am sold. So I am presenting the list here to see how much I can be sold at. I think I am worth some money, between 500,000 and going towards one million. Somebody is always saying I am too cheap, that I am not a stock worth keeping. So better throw me out.

Please do, I say. But, where is my money?

This is a list that calcualtes how much I am worth. See whether the man agrees to my rough estimation. I am not an account and I am not going to itemize a list. My value is composed of some chunks, including of course my dissertation, my research files, my teaching materials and practices and principles, my online writings, and my previous books. All of them are intellectual properties.

One note about my previous books is I do not own royalties for them. So in a way, I translated them under unfair practices. For most of them, I did not have contracts or even a note. Translated works in China are not like translated works in America where the translator might get to hold a certain share of the earnings. I just got a certain amount of fee for my translation.

The one that has been a steady hot seller on the Chinese market for almost ten years is /Darwin for Beginners/. Almost all Chinese university and college libraries have collected it into their collections. I only got 2,000 yuan for translation fee. No contract, no note. No royalties.

For the Children’s rhyme book, /Blowing Bubbles/, I got 6,000 yuan, about 800 dollars. I do not know how that book is selling.

For /the Holy Spark/, before the Chinese author got it published in New Jersey, she asked for a signed note from me saying I do not get to own royalties, as one of the two translators. I forgot how much I got for translation fee, perhaps around 4,000 yuan.

/The Classical Chinese Paintings/ is for translation fee only. As to the books I did on the job, we do not get extra pay.

/Malan–The magical mountain orchid/ is a children’s play. I do not even know whether the English translation is published. The translation was done so that the play can be performed outside China, as we were told. No contract, no note.

How much have you got the dissertation valued at? That is my biggest baby. The man has his shares in it, of course. If well edited and packaged and marketed, it should sell for decades to come. Was it evaluated at roughly between 300,000 to 400,000 dollars? I want it to be published in two formats, a soft cover, simplified version. And possibly a hardcover version. The first version is for the larger market, perhaps even selling it in China. The hardcover version is to keep in collections. I will look to every step. The man does not understand why I have made the argument in there 100 percent. That is why I will look to the steps. But the publication quality must be high. The larger share of the royalties should be mine, after publication fees and overheads have been deducted. If the man remembers, he said “you wrote the dissertation. It is yours.”  That can be counted as part of my value.

In fact, when we talk about the dissertation, the man is the one who only wanted the book. At least I felt like so. I wanted to put the human being above the book while the man insisted the book should take precedence over human beings, at least over me. I do not need to hide this feeling. I am actually not that happy over the book. It is just I have been forced to focus on it. That is also the reason why the man cannot take it away. That woman (I always call that woman a whore, through and through) does not have a share in that book. All she has done is to obstruct it. I am firm on this point. And the man cannot talk me out of my position. On key issues, I am not muddle-headed.

My online free writings do not make that much money. But they still make a certain amount of money. They serve as background materials to lift the dissertation into a clearer existence. Many of them, especially the first 300 pieces, are written for three times, too. They are not as rigorously written as the dissertation of course. But they still carry their existence. They basically tell the story of the dissertation and the story of my life, the way I see it, construct it, and interpret it.


No matter under what circumstances, the best thing a woman can do for herself is to become economically independent, so that a man would not be able to tell her, “get out of MY house, or My room!”

The first thing a woman must protect then, is also her money. As to her heart, it will heal, whether the wound lasts one week, one month, or a few years.

To protect my money, I go then.

Another thing, if a man wants to throw you out, you’d better be prepared to be able to throw him out, no matter which culture you are in, Chinese, American, Japanese, or France. It does not make much of a difference.


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