Drops of Life

Just read one line: One desires that which one is in want of.

By extension, one is jealous and envious of others that have what one desires.

One woman has the hidden desire: You will lose both your beauty and your career. I picked that vicious desire that told to a local community leader.

Now I know she has neither beauty nor career.

I had always known who deleted my files for an entire semester.

The other day saw it on Purdue’s Exponent that students who cheated or committed other academic crimes will have their diplomas revoked.

I wonder whether Purdue can revoke that woman’s phd diploma? Or since she might have somebody’s protection,so she can keep her phd diploma?

The other woman acted persistently and viciously against me for one reason. She thought everybody likes me.

The reasons were very simple, actually. I entered into two professors’ classes. One professor’s class is extremely popular, and every student who has been around for a while and in that field knows one has to immediately register in order to get in. His classes closes very fast.

I always ask people nicely. I went to see the professor and got in.

There was another young professor. He was not allowing one more student over the limit he set. When I asked, his class was full. But later one spot showed up and I got in.

That woman wanted to get into the classes, but somehow she did not get in. There was no reason to get angry at me because I got in the two classes.

There are also classes I did not get in. When I started to write the dissertation, a professor was offering a class dealing with an author I included in my dissertation. That author is fairly difficult to read. I asked him whether he would allow me to sit in his class. And I was flatly refused. I was very upset, but refusal is a part of life.

For that author I wrote and wrote and the supervising professor kept saying no. He did not stop saying no after I wrote seven drafts. Lots of times in life one has to learn oneself, doing research by oneself. I was so frustrated I went to see the professor who originally included the novel in his survey class. It was because of his teaching I included the novel in. He offered one piece of advice: Just follow the text. Do not get entangled in the text, because that novel is notoriously difficult to understand.

I followed his advice and got out. Finally the supervising professor let me pass for that chapter.

Seven drafts!! Now I should claim I am an expert on that novel. I know every nook and cranny of it.

To be real honest, only the first American author and the second American author included in my dissertation, I have had a chance to listen to a professor teaching it in a formal class. He did not teach the second novel in that detail, for it is not a seminar class. It was a survey class, so he could only touch upon it lightly so that students would get interested in it.

Therefore, to be real honest, I did all the research for my dissertation. Of course I got to write it. The supervising professor was not writing it.

That is why it is mine. It is not anybody’s. It breathes me in every sentence. Those who want to pretend they write something like that, such as taking a chapter and claim it to be their articles, it is never going to happen. In three sentences, people will be able to tell they cannot write it, not in a million years.

My American Lit professor also says: I will be able to tell a person’s profession, how he positions himself, in just three sentences.

I think he is right. He is very right, if I can be allowed to have some freedom with the language.

He tells me I should laugh the last laugh. So far I am still waiting to laugh the last laugh.


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